It's funny how things work. You think something is concrete solid, yet a small crack can deteriorate everything. I actually felta stab in my heart, Iactually felt it. You know how October is seen only as the month that contains Halloween and Canadian Thanksgiving Day? I found out an interesting fact: both my grandparents and parents got married in October. And their marriages were always concrete solid; my grandparents have passed away now, but they were together for a long time. It's all funny because Ialways wanted to have my wedding in October, namely on Halloween (which happens to be the day my grandparents married). Two generations of successful marriages is a great support when it comes to love, wouldn't it be? Viz. and me are distanced at the moment, and what better time to meet up? Summer time gives us the time needed to save money up for travel and whatever else.

I'm also going to go see my doctor in June to see if Ican possibly get my foot surgery done. Foot surgery, you ask? I was born with a foot that was bent more than necessary. While it's not as bad as it was, it could be straightened just a bit more. I'm hoping it'd be done in the summer, so I'd be crutchless. Ahahaha, I almost typed crotchless, of all great typos... And this summer, Iwant me and Dad to finish our house. It's in a hectic state with one room stuffed full of shit and a bathroom with nothing but a running toilet. It's a nice house beside those two things, but I find it kind of embarrassing. And another thing, we need to finally unpack all of our boxes... It's been how long since we moved here? TWELVEYEARS! Okay now that I've calmed down a bit, I'll talk more about what I'm worried about.

It's hard to watch as someone you feel deeply in love with mention the fact that they don't know if they feel the same. I never thought it'd feel like this. And to think I used to say people who get dramatic over love are fools. But here Iam, in the same situations as other people. It almost makes me wish he never said he loved me, and almost makes me wish I hadn't said I loved him too. Of course, we said 'like', but it was love. But this is why you shouldn't fall in love with friends, if things don't work out then there's years of good times down the drain. Best friends to lovers, then to nothing. What a nice and heart wrecking transition. Not that it has turned to nothing, but by the looks of it, it might soon be. Not by my choice, but I can't force him to love me again. Love should be a choice, and I will never take that away from someone just to save myself a heartbreak. Hahaha, it's hard typing this without shedding tears, but I'm holding them back pretty well.

I'm going to talk about something else for the moment, just as a tear saver. Hmm, let's talk about what I've been doing the past few days. Friday I wored, and it was fucking hell. It's the shits when someone is always correcting you, especially when it's unnecessary. I put the lettuce and tomato in the wrong order... OHH, THEWORLD ISTURVY! It's okay if I'm just learning, but I've been working there for years. So what if it's not done down to the T, as long as the person gets everything they ordered... Why should it matter? Presentation is one thing that makes food so great, but are they really going to send it back because the lettuce is on top of the tomato?If they do, they're just a dickhead. Besides work, I smoked pot with my mom, and what a mistake that was. I just ended up getting pissed off and going to bed. Probably didn't help that she and Dad were drinking too. Then yesterday, I went into town with Dad to my little cousin's birthday party. He's two now; Yay for the terrible twos! But seeing all the little kids made me really think about having kids of my own some day. Not right away, obviously, but when I'm ready. The whole idea of childbirth is what scares the shit out of me. But having kids would be great, takes a lot of years before you have freedom again, yet it wouldn't matter when you get to see your own kid grow up. There's so many risks with having children though, so that always scares me. Idon't need to worry about that for a while though.

Last night me and Pat went out for supper. She waited for her son to come to her house, but he never showed. Around nine or so we headed off to Cache Creek and stopped at Heartland. THEYMEALS! I got kalamari with rice, lemon potato and Greek salad. Pat got basically the same thing but lemon chicken instead of kalamari. At the restaurant there were a couple of guys who were kind of ruining the atmosphere. They were all drinking and Hell literally broke loose when the waitress said she couldn't serve no more beers. That's when snyde remarks started to flow. Eventually, one guy explained to the others why she stopped serving beers, legal reasons. Besides that, we had a good time. Thencame home to see my neighbours partying; what a bunch of assholes.

But here Iam today, feeling like shit. Ihad planned to go into town with my friend Kyle just to do whatever. I was going to wear my black dress and everything, but those bloody words prevent me. Ican't have a good time knowing Viz. is questioning his love for me. I almost wish he just continued to ignore me, but I wanted him to talk to me again. Not exactly the words I wanted, but I got what Iasked for. I feel bad, I know it was my fault... but c'mon, he's flipped out on me before. It's true what they say, girls forgive faster than guys. I know he isn't a heartless bastard, but those are the words that came out when Iwas mad. People say stupid things when they're mad, and it's not like I really meant it. Idon't think Idid. Sure, at times he can be cold, but he's not heartless. I'm the same way though. I take the blame though. I'm such a fucking idiot at times. This is why I hate showing my feelings. Whenever I do it fucking backfires, me being the one struck by the bullet. If things turn out the way I think they will, I'm just going to avoid love all together. Why bother, I won't find anyone else. As naive as that sounds, I believe it's true.
Well, time to dry my eyes and put on a hearty smile. I'm going to town with Dad. It's going to be all sunshine and lollipops, while in my heart it will be somber and lonely. It's ironic though, I was born with a hole in my heart andyet itfeels like it has returned.
Till next time,
Tschau - Erotica.

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a green snake trying to swallow a gecko. There is also a 2 metre black snake which hunts for small animals in our garden, which really freaked out our helper.

I don't mind the snakes. I think they're more afraid of us. The only thing I worry about is the dogs getting bitten because they like to annoy the snakes. Austin once bit a smallish one and swung it around before flinging it. Amazingly the snake survived. Our landlord says the only snake we should be afraid of are cobras (!)

Anyway, snakes also hide in the tall grass, so my mom convinced me we had to cut the grass when it was overgrown. The landlord recommended I hire some Khmers to do it. The cost? USD25 a day for a couple to do the work.

Of course I overpaid. It does not sound like a lot for a foreigner, but you have to remember this is a country where most people earn USD1- USD2 a day. And grass cutting is unskilled labour, using sickles. Indeed, subsequently 3 young men offered to do it for 15,000 riels (USD3.75 that is in total, not each.

Our landlord is not a mean man, on the contrary, he has been very kind to us. A few months ago, he volunteered to cut our rent because "the economy is bad". I don't think for a second he intended to rip us off. What I think is he was just trying to help his relatives, which is a very common Khmer trait.

Anyway, I also explored the option of buying a strimmer (string trimmer). My landlord picked me up on his motorbike to see the shops, along the road to Psar Leu. There are petrol and electric ones, but you can only get petrol ones in Cambodia, which go for USD90 new (made in China) and USD40 second hand. There is also a Japan made "Honda" that you can get for USD200 new.

The landlord advised me against getting a second-hand one because he said "you pay 40 dollars, but it works only 40%". I find in general, richer Cambodians have an aversion to second-hand things, whereas I always think second-hand because I want to save money. Maybe they are speaking from experience though, who knows?

I got a friend to compare prices in Singapore and found electric strimmers to be cheaper than the petrol ones found in Cambodia. On the other hand, the petrol ones in Singapore are more expensive, twice the price, but they are good ones.

Usually people use electric ones for their homes, because most people live in a country where land is expensive. Electric ones are not available in Cambodia because land here is cheap and many people own large tracts (our rented place sits on about 16,000 square feet of land).

Anyway, I had a spot of good luck recently. A woman came and asked if she could cut the grass to feed her cows. We had already considered this as a solution: letting in a few cows to eat our grass. Except our five dogs go barking mad when they see the placid creatures (Austin was kicked by one for annoying it).

Here are the photos of the woman at work. You can see curious Sunshine looking on and also how the woman transports the cut grass home, in a basket on her bicycle. She came twice this week. I wonder how many cows she has.

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We all make mistakes during our lives. That is how we learn and we move forward. We often learn from our mistakes and are sure not to repeat the same thing again. This also goes for relationship issues. I do not know an adult who never had a head banging with their better half. It happened to me recently, a few months ago to be precise. My other half broke up with me after a few things that went wrong in our relationship. I was surely determined to get them back and I have succeeded, with a little help of course but we are back together. That is what counts for me.
I know you are here because you have just gone through a break up. All you want is to be in your partners arms. I went through this too, I know how painful it is to have our loved one far away and on top of all not wanting to see us. But let me tell you, if you seriously want to get your ex back there are a few mistakes that you should avoid. Some will not be easy but you have to do it as these are proven tips that helped thousands of couples (me included) to get back with their ex.
Do not beg your ex to take you back as it will not work. I know you feel the urge to do it but avoid as nothing good will come out of it. Right now your ex needs space and time to think over the situation. Respect their decision and take some time away too. Also I will suggest you to cry as much as you can, let all the pain out only then you will be able to face the break up but keep all this behind closed doors.
Try to minimize contact with your ex for some time. This may seem to be the opposite of what you should do but it works this way. Give your ex the time to miss you, they will probably want to get back with you too. They will not have time to miss you if you are always on their back. And never even think of trying to make them jealous. If you do, it is only going to tell your ex that you have decided to move on with your life and you should do same.
I wish you best of luck to get your ex back. If you avoid the mistakes above you can consider that the first step to get your ex back is cleared. It is only a matter of time from here.

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A Bangkok Soapy Massage has got to be top of the list for any visitor to the city of angels. There are so many Massage Parlours in Bangkok, or should we say Sexy Soapy Massage Parlors in Bangkok. This section was written by a friend who appears to have been a busy happy chappy on his visits to Bangkok. There are two spellings of parlor - parlour to suit the tastes of our British English visitors and American English visitors. As this account has been compiled over a number of trips (and years) some of this information may well be out of date. The names of the massage parlours may have changed or they may even have gone out of business. Nevertheless like most types of businesses in Thailand they tend to congregate in areas close to each other. So if your chosen massage parlour is not there any more you shouldn't have to go far to find another.

Of course quite often the sexy Thai massage girls also move on to another massage position either to a new massage parlor in Bangkokor maybe into retirement when they meet that special customer who takes her for the ultimate long time massage experience.

There are literally thousands of Thai massage parlors in Bangkok, Thailand. Essentially, there are three types of massage: the soapy massage, the Thai massage and the herbal oil massage. We all know that many massage parlors are little more than a front for prostitution, and in many massage parlors, this extra option is readily available.

This has to be the ultimate entertainment experience in this exciting city, if you have not tried it, you owe it to yourself to try this at least once. Although we are sure that it won't be your last. In the various massage parlors there seems to be a similar procedure.

Upon entering the establishment, you will be lead to a reception area where you will see a group of girls, usually in another room with a one way mirror. While you are admiring the females, you can always get a drink while you take your time to make your choice. Once you have made your selection, just give the manager the name and number(s). The girl will be brought out to greet you, and you could have a drink and chat with her, or simply head to the private room. Be fully aware gentlemen that you will be expected to settle the bill in advance of departing to the room.

Massage Parlors in Bangkok
Girls sitting behind the glass window for you to choose

Upon reaching the room with your selected escort, you may be offered the opportunity to order another drink, both for yourself and your companion. Chatting is optional, you may wish to progress and head for the type of massage you have selected. Depending on the option that you have chosen, you will first be placed in a soapy bubble bath, pleasurably cleaned up by your companion(s), and if you have chosen the body massage you will get the rubber mattress treatment. If you have not yet had this pleasure, it is widely recommended. Another suggestion, if your budget allows, is the where you get two young ladies to attend to all your needs.

Once you have been dried, and are squeaky clean from the soapy bath and massage, you will be shown to the bed, which is usually round or oval. This is round two of your pleasures, so prepare yourself. You can tell if the young lady is enjoying her time with you about now, since if she did not, she would be reluctant to spend even more time with you. The body massage usually takes about 90 minutes, but can last as long as two and a half hours if your masseuses are happy with the way you are treating them.

If all you are really looking for is a good body massage, then opt for traditional Thai massage, which originated some two and a half thousand years ago. The techniques were passed on originally by word of mouth, then written upon palm leaves. These may be viewed at the Wat Pho temple in Bangkok.
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